So, last night I was hanging on the couch with Reese watching my
favorite show, The Speed Report, catching up on the lastest and greatest
in Motorsports news and whenever I have the TV on I kinda zone-out and
it’s even worst when anything is playing on SPEED. I was trying to hear
what happened to Josh Hayes getting suspended and losing his victory at
the Daytona 200 and keep Reese occupied. I gave her an envelope which is
what usually works on Sunday mornings at church. I have found that Reese
will usually sit through the entire sermon as long as you keep pumping
her with fresh offering envelopes for her to “mouth”; it’s the most
economical toy I’ve ever seen. I figured it should serve the trick here
also.
Well, everything was going well – I was hearing my story, Kristen was
scanning the Journal Sentinel for shopping deals and Reese was
occupied. And then, BAM……I hear Reese make a diffrent cough sound
(as new parents, you become very familar with your baby’s sounds), kinda
choking noise. I look down and the envelope was soaking wet with slobber
and a big piece of it was missing. I quickly scan Reese’s mouth and see
a substantianal piece of paper in her mouth; I reach a finger in for
it-only pushing is in a little further, (panicking) I try again and it
goes yet further. I run into her room and grab the Big Blue Squeezy
thingy (that we use for boggies) and desperately try and suck it out,
still to no avail….
Finally I look in and it’s gone.
Stunned!! I look at Reese, she looks at me and she starts too giggle,
I’m thinking (in my head) “baby heimlick”, Baby Hospital, The long hose
on the vacumn with the skinny corner attachment….KRISTEN, Please Help!
She is still on the couch with the papar saying “hey, Pick-n-Save has
chicken breasts on sale this week” and Reese keeps on giggling, and then
I realize she’s laughing at me cause daddy’s a dumb ass.
Everything was fine, apparently the paper was so wet that it just got
swollowed up and after she took a full bottle, I realized that I’m
probably out of danger. My wife never got “fired up” and I don’t
understand this. Why after 6 months of her jumping at every sound and
noise Reese made, she now just sits on the couch when I think I’ve just
allowed my daughter to potentially choke to death…. I guess that’s why
we are a good team, we balance each other out. Also, I remembered (one
of our many) our baby books mentioned that your kids are going to eat
everything from paper to dirt to sometimes fabric, so I guess my panic
was only enjoyed by my wife who has already had similar episodes and
relished me “panicing” with a slight chagrin-
Errrr…..Mommy!
Moral of the story: Daddy still can’t muti-task worth a damn!
Gizznat
1 Comment
March 12, 2008 at 6:32 pm
That is the funniest story EVER! I love it.